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Hi folks

I’ve been wrapped up in work these last weeks so please excuse the delay with posts.

I intend on publishing a collection of my own short stories that I’ve amassed over the past 13 years. I will use Smashwords  to do this as it seems to be one of the few online publishers offering a fairly decent deal to the authors. As far as i remember they also give you an ISBN number and are targets for future talent via Barnes and Noble, Amazon, etc.

Smashwords also offer a service to have your book cover illustrated and designed, but they also offer authors like myself who are working with images and photography the dimensions to DIY it. I have not made my own yet, but recently I helped a friend with his and after some hours of screen sharing via Skype we managed to find his image of a four legged, masked girl with  a flying piglet on her lap…

Yes, of course, I did think it was a wind up when he first requested this image but soon realized his sincerity and here is what he got.

 

1919 - Outside blog

Anything can be created from imagination

I write this information here on the off chance that any of you writers and poets need book or CD covers. I have a nice stock sitting here (samples here ) not doing much apart from being eye candy for the net.

I’m also aware that cutting a living from being a wordsmith is not so great, so I will discount each case as it comes by as long as you’re being honest. The more you earn or claim the more you donate for my time and efforts please.

You know where I can be found.

Good luck with your missives and metaphors.

Power ti yer pens

 

I still await my prey

Two weeks after

The season got under way

Nearly every day

I’ve hunted, tried

Still unsatisfied

Or am I?

I never took rod this day

But really seen, touched, smelled

A wide gaping river

On arrival

I am surprised

To come so close to

A red squirrel

Sitting sniffing the earth

Maybe for a stowed nut

I think

But got the feeling

It was curious at another beasts stink

Dark brown more than red

At first I thought it was mink

But pleased it was squirrel

Mink’s dish is mostly fish

Image

both of us united in a common fear of each others talons

War´s influence
(allegedly, if you believe in astrology)
arose to the South of Jonsvatnet (John´s water)
while I, for a few seconds
cut circles in its path of temporary shine
with the metal fish at the end of my line
Bail arm trip, retrieval slip
then lightning dynamics
Of pike´s waspish violence upon it!
The decoy minnow
Anything but slow as old esox
gave her acrobatic show
with ariel attempts to escape me
After pulling, tugging, plenty of shrugging
twenty minutes later I assumed the victor
But,
as I lifted her water clear
she anticipated me and bit me shear!
My curse was anything but ”Oh dear!”
She either, never shed a tear
but both of us united in a common fear
Of each others talons
Somewhat gently
I set her down in the shallows
Carefully plucked back my hook
Then gave my bloody finger a sook
With a swish of her shovel sized tail
off she cruised with a humoured look
Towards the pillar of Mars
Both she and I perforated with scars
Made our ways home
Under early August’s returning stars.

 

A few notes about this piece, which I will get around to fitting in here with the poem.

Mars was at its closest to Earth in 60,000 years this night.

*Esox Lucius is the latin name for a Pike
A bail arm is the piece on a fishing reel. It catches and gathers the line as it rotates.
The last line is to do with the fact that there is no night between late May and early August where I live. The Arctic Circle is another 400 km`s north, from Trondheim, where you get the famous midnight sun.

Image
Strangers in the night
Exchanging glances
What were the chances
We’d be sharing thoughts
before the night was through
Something in your sparkle
was so binary and inviting
something in your
light years was so exciting
some hunger in my astronomy
Said I must have your view
Strangers in the night
until we said our first hello
Little did we know
123 Light years far away
You were just a glance away
a frosty night stance away
and ever since that night
we’ve been together
Lovers at first sight
finding polaris bright and great bear too
Dubhe, dubhe du

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_Ursae_Majoris

Daydreaming is great for any artist

There’s a wee pub just off Princes street where it meets Frederick street in Edinburgh and it’s one of the watering holes of the best of Scottish writers since it opened. I like to drink Guiness there because, well, it’s a thinking man’s beer and you get a contemplative head when you sup it, especially after the second pint.

On this day, I sat waiting for a poet friend and found myself alone surrounded by framed quotes of literary geniuses, (not all of them Scottish btw) Anyways, I scribbled a few of them doon and this one is inspiring, so I’m sharing and suggesting that next time yer in the toon, ye get yersel intae Milne’s bar and order what ye want, but the place has got its ain charm whatever profession yer in.

Sláinte and power ti yer pen 🙂

Let us therefore agree that a reasonably good standard of writing is a mark not of preciosity,

but of good sense,

not of prissiness,

but of efficiency;

that such a standard can be attained by anyone with a little effort;

that the effort be worthwhile.

That it requires neither hair-splitting nor self consciousness,

but merely a willingness to acquire good habits.
Sir Ernest Gowers.

Image

Some lures catch more fishermen than fish

This was a day when the clouds warned rain

But on reaching the sea didn’t go insane

With their threatening sweat

Instead, the sun broke through, burned bright,

Melanoma, to my hands, face and neck

It was an early start for this hunter of fish

Using bait, lures, humming and whistle

I still fulfilled no wish

For my dinner dish

What I did catch though

Were all those cormorants

A gannet, three seals, an otter, kittiwakes

And other gull species having their fun

On wind and tide’s surging flow

Afterwards, using my wit,

In the local town

When the sales woman at the fishing shop counter

Said:”Oh, here, I like how these dangle

And that shining thing would make a nice…

Christmas decoration.

Are you sure it’s for fishing?”

”Only for this side of the rod,

For keeping warm your bod.

That’s a hipflask for storing your whisky”

”I’ve never drank it myself, but I hear it makes you …”

”Frisky?”  I interrupted with a smile

”No extremely drunk!” came her astounded reply

We both laughed hard

I shopped a lure or three

To replace my losses to the sea

Before I was on my way,

I turned back to her to say

”Watch out for the drinkers of frisky!”

”At my age. That will be the day!”

”You never know sweetheart? For after a few drams of

Scotland’s national drink, you would be surprised

How charming it can make some men think!”.

”Really? So, are you busy tonight?”

Asked with raised hipflask, puckered lips and wink

” Eh…Aye!, sorry, bye!”

And I was gone with a wave and a flush on my face

Walking swiftly along the pathway paved

I thought about our converse and how bad I had been

To flirt with a woman, who’d better days seen!

Craig

I’m no Sugar Ray, Lynch or Ali

But I return to the ring in Trondheim’s valley

The same faces (and haircuts) adourn the hall

The punch bags, skipping ropes, medicine ball

The aged, hieroglyph cheeks and faces, watch and nod

The fighters taking aim on where to place their thuds

Whilst I pretend I am a decade behind my shell

Unfortunately, the trainer’s circuit is a telling hell

I hope to be fitter, stronger, faster, soon

But muscles elastic is agreeing ‘next blue moon’

I kill this big bag with a flurry of punches

It doesn’t fight back from my pounding crunches

Thank Jedi I say, that this is just play

And no championships to train for again, nay

Those days are over and the gloves are well hung

The battle is over the last bell has rung

From here on in, boxing’s for fun

To keep old warrior keen with less tum

Hello all and thanks for the new wave of follows and comments for my fripperies these last weeks. I really didn’t think anyone gave a flying… but it’s good to have a few people add me and I appreciate it. I have to say the Gravatar has been doing my head in to reply and follow others as I only come through to that and then it takes me nowhere in some cases so I will get up on it and work it out…or do others have the same problem?

This week saw me give stand up a try all for 5 mins and the audience cheered – both of them…ok, so maybe something close to 50 or more and it was exhilarating and adrenalin packed as are all open mic sessions …for some of us.  My jokes became a bit wooden so I used a computer poem I wrote a long time back with a quick revision today. Since my last piece went down well here I give you a polite and English translation of Image:

Dregs To Megs

 

The day is done

The clock chimes one

I touch-type my keyboard without fret

A marriage made in heaven

From the day we first met

Although it wasn’t always this much fun

Especially that daft keyboard on the Sinclair ZX81

Or the annoying monotony

Fast forward, stop, rewind, stop, play

Of audio cassette data entry,

 

Today I have: Gigabytes, Terabytes, Jpegs, Mpegs

I remember the arrival of the 16Kb RAM pack

Had me wetting my kegs

Back in those early eighties days

When you could fill your TV screen with

20 goto 10, 10 Run “Teacher’s a plonker!”

“You boy?…yet again… Detention!”

“Och aye! Thanks sir!”

Was my calculated ploy

Just to be the best boy

With logic and binary.

Those extra hours, gave me

Computer refinery

About our planet´s counting machines

 

From the abacus, over five millennium

To Napier´s logarithms and Bones

To the genial mechanics of Charles Babbage

(That in his lifetime, were never born)

Then, onto rooms full of glass valves

The brains of code breaking ENIAC

Made World War´s Enigma, easier to solve

 

Later came transistors to lighten the load

And Taito’s Invaders GET-TING-CLO-SER-MON-O-TONES

Platform Willie would have lusted after Lara Croft

His pokey one AND/OR’D into her zero muff

Even today’s speeds allow us to interact with them

In the loaded hydraulics of virtual buff!

But exercise a wee bit caution,

Coz social media rues this day

You’ve become the target audience of I.C fates,

The blogger revolutionaries within the anti I.T states,

And all those charming Trolls and phishers of I.D fakes

The myriad of strangers, so charming, superfit, suave and cool,

The reality is psycho, obese, raving fools

Don’t be afraid, keep your distance and keep your cool

Use your firewall and your own internetegrity rule

And be careful of your future at that screen near you!

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ENIAC

http://inventors.about.com/od/nstartinventors/a/John_Napier.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ZX81

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