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Hi folks

I’ve been wrapped up in work these last weeks so please excuse the delay with posts.

I intend on publishing a collection of my own short stories that I’ve amassed over the past 13 years. I will use Smashwords  to do this as it seems to be one of the few online publishers offering a fairly decent deal to the authors. As far as i remember they also give you an ISBN number and are targets for future talent via Barnes and Noble, Amazon, etc.

Smashwords also offer a service to have your book cover illustrated and designed, but they also offer authors like myself who are working with images and photography the dimensions to DIY it. I have not made my own yet, but recently I helped a friend with his and after some hours of screen sharing via Skype we managed to find his image of a four legged, masked girl with  a flying piglet on her lap…

Yes, of course, I did think it was a wind up when he first requested this image but soon realized his sincerity and here is what he got.

 

1919 - Outside blog

Anything can be created from imagination

I write this information here on the off chance that any of you writers and poets need book or CD covers. I have a nice stock sitting here (samples here ) not doing much apart from being eye candy for the net.

I’m also aware that cutting a living from being a wordsmith is not so great, so I will discount each case as it comes by as long as you’re being honest. The more you earn or claim the more you donate for my time and efforts please.

You know where I can be found.

Good luck with your missives and metaphors.

Power ti yer pens

 

Brig Portrait
I am no cosmogonist for suggesting
That the end and the beginning
Are one and the same
Winter opposes summer
Death, life and so forth
On a perpetual journey
Of violence, rest
Love, hate
Science fact
Metaphoric beliefs
Everything shares one common truth
The unzipping of creation
The four bases
Adenine pairs with Thymine
Guanine pairs with Cytosine
All split open
Then reborn in puzzling sequences
Ribo and Deoxy Nucleic Acids
Forged from a star collapsing
On the edge of our solar system
Gravitating, tugging, pulling, spinning,
BOOM!
Just like the other BIG-inning
Circa 14 billion years earlier
But before that
The quiet, stillness, nothing
How do we know?
After…
The present
The future
The past
Alpha and omega,
First and the last

Image

Some lures catch more fishermen than fish

This was a day when the clouds warned rain

But on reaching the sea didn’t go insane

With their threatening sweat

Instead, the sun broke through, burned bright,

Melanoma, to my hands, face and neck

It was an early start for this hunter of fish

Using bait, lures, humming and whistle

I still fulfilled no wish

For my dinner dish

What I did catch though

Were all those cormorants

A gannet, three seals, an otter, kittiwakes

And other gull species having their fun

On wind and tide’s surging flow

Afterwards, using my wit,

In the local town

When the sales woman at the fishing shop counter

Said:”Oh, here, I like how these dangle

And that shining thing would make a nice…

Christmas decoration.

Are you sure it’s for fishing?”

”Only for this side of the rod,

For keeping warm your bod.

That’s a hipflask for storing your whisky”

”I’ve never drank it myself, but I hear it makes you …”

”Frisky?”  I interrupted with a smile

”No extremely drunk!” came her astounded reply

We both laughed hard

I shopped a lure or three

To replace my losses to the sea

Before I was on my way,

I turned back to her to say

”Watch out for the drinkers of frisky!”

”At my age. That will be the day!”

”You never know sweetheart? For after a few drams of

Scotland’s national drink, you would be surprised

How charming it can make some men think!”.

”Really? So, are you busy tonight?”

Asked with raised hipflask, puckered lips and wink

” Eh…Aye!, sorry, bye!”

And I was gone with a wave and a flush on my face

Walking swiftly along the pathway paved

I thought about our converse and how bad I had been

To flirt with a woman, who’d better days seen!

Hello all and thanks for the new wave of follows and comments for my fripperies these last weeks. I really didn’t think anyone gave a flying… but it’s good to have a few people add me and I appreciate it. I have to say the Gravatar has been doing my head in to reply and follow others as I only come through to that and then it takes me nowhere in some cases so I will get up on it and work it out…or do others have the same problem?

This week saw me give stand up a try all for 5 mins and the audience cheered – both of them…ok, so maybe something close to 50 or more and it was exhilarating and adrenalin packed as are all open mic sessions …for some of us.  My jokes became a bit wooden so I used a computer poem I wrote a long time back with a quick revision today. Since my last piece went down well here I give you a polite and English translation of Image:

Dregs To Megs

 

The day is done

The clock chimes one

I touch-type my keyboard without fret

A marriage made in heaven

From the day we first met

Although it wasn’t always this much fun

Especially that daft keyboard on the Sinclair ZX81

Or the annoying monotony

Fast forward, stop, rewind, stop, play

Of audio cassette data entry,

 

Today I have: Gigabytes, Terabytes, Jpegs, Mpegs

I remember the arrival of the 16Kb RAM pack

Had me wetting my kegs

Back in those early eighties days

When you could fill your TV screen with

20 goto 10, 10 Run “Teacher’s a plonker!”

“You boy?…yet again… Detention!”

“Och aye! Thanks sir!”

Was my calculated ploy

Just to be the best boy

With logic and binary.

Those extra hours, gave me

Computer refinery

About our planet´s counting machines

 

From the abacus, over five millennium

To Napier´s logarithms and Bones

To the genial mechanics of Charles Babbage

(That in his lifetime, were never born)

Then, onto rooms full of glass valves

The brains of code breaking ENIAC

Made World War´s Enigma, easier to solve

 

Later came transistors to lighten the load

And Taito’s Invaders GET-TING-CLO-SER-MON-O-TONES

Platform Willie would have lusted after Lara Croft

His pokey one AND/OR’D into her zero muff

Even today’s speeds allow us to interact with them

In the loaded hydraulics of virtual buff!

But exercise a wee bit caution,

Coz social media rues this day

You’ve become the target audience of I.C fates,

The blogger revolutionaries within the anti I.T states,

And all those charming Trolls and phishers of I.D fakes

The myriad of strangers, so charming, superfit, suave and cool,

The reality is psycho, obese, raving fools

Don’t be afraid, keep your distance and keep your cool

Use your firewall and your own internetegrity rule

And be careful of your future at that screen near you!

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ENIAC

http://inventors.about.com/od/nstartinventors/a/John_Napier.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ZX81

ImageI feel sane when I see this kind of sanity, after all it’s the truth at a quantum level

Hello all

Writing and storytelling have become something people accuse me of doing professionally. It has been known for me to make a few dollars, euros, kroner, pounds and baht from my rants, poems and even a couple of theatrical productions I co-wrote for the Edinburgh  Fringe festivals in the late 90’s.

I have been writing longer than I care to admit and those of you who know me really well, will probably call it bs, but let me reassure any readers of this blog that I intend to deliver my finest BS with brevity, as good poets and storytellers do.

Awthebest and thanks for yer time…so far.

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