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The Fringe Binge

Super inflate ego

Try n’ catch

show after show.

Don’t ye know

the fringe is in toon.

Multinational,

mostly loons,

extrovert spoons!

Gulls soar,

below them the roar,

sometimes (mostly)

the snore,

at a cacophonous

banquet ae stage

ae streets, closes

an wynds.

For me the poet

am far frae blind.

That the councils

profiteering

hus murdered,

what used ti be quite

endearing.

Ah bet the fat cats

at locals they’re sneering,

whilst this stage

can rage

pull in mair

than just wage.

An that am afraid

means nose ti tail snail

ae everything.

Trains, buses, cars

even rickshaws.

Heavily guarded by street

permit laws (wi nae flaws)

Pretty pouts from every nation

on corners, smile, laugh

and hand oot flyers.

Nae use ti me,

am this toons biggest blagger

The barmy poet,

the unknown Jagger.

The arts in Scotland,

Find it hard ti reach

oot thur hand

Ti local talents,

Performers alike.

When a schemmie asks

they reply a polite.

“Call back another time”

be honest

say it right

“Take a hike, get oan yer bike”

Suits me fine,

coz oan yer liturgy

I’ll expose yer greedy crimes,

This is the 21st Century

ma opinions arenae

and will never be soley confined!

and coz the internet-igrity

willnae be a well guarded

secret for those sitting pretty.

 

This was written when I last lived in the city, indeed Scotland, (2001) and is by no means my opinion today. I have learned a lot about the new incentives for Scottish writers as well as the lottery funds that are helping more aspiring writers and artists from all over the world who are now based in Scotland.

I include my review for the two productions I contributed to for the sake of entertaining during the Fringe Festivals of 1996 and 97. Those were fun to write produce and act in.

I might add that the International festival is a heap of sh**! unless you’re loaded of course, then you get all that crap.

 

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